I wonder why I didn't have the strength to hold tears from dripping down right now. Well, I just finished reading IB Life Guide written by fellow KMB-ians. It's wrecking my nerve as well as gave me some sort of adrenaline rush right after I finished them. This isn't the reason my eyes got teary.
I was thinking something big, for all this while. Am I really wanna pursue medic in the future? Yeah, that sounds so not right to talk about it right now. Sometimes I doubt my abilities, my faith towards this field. The idea came when my dad talked to me about doctors since I was a little girl back then..
He said, doctor is a very humble profession.. they are helping people till the very end of one's life. He really really wants me to be a doctor, though he never said it but I knew it very well, plus there's no other way my brothers and sisters will become a doctor. They have already found their own path to walk on.
Hell yeah, I AM LIVING THEIR DREAMS. So, I forced myself to love biology, to memorize the facts and all stuff, to ace in this subject. That.was.hard. Undeniable. But it's not impossible. I managed to get A+ for that. You see, that was only bio subject. Maybe a very very small part of medicine. Once again, I doubt myself. =.=
There was a time, where I explained about IB to my dad..
Anak : IB ni bla bla bla...2 tahun buat benda ni then kalau lepas cut off point nak fly baru la pegi oversea. Then kat oversea, baru buat medic 5/6 tahun..
Bapak : 8 tahun lah baru habis kalau mcm tu..hmm, ntah la dik..mase kamu jadi dr nnt bapak ade lagi ke x.bapak ni dah tua..mak pun dah tua..
*sigh* I looked at them. Yeah, they got wrinkles already, mak got lots of health problem nowadays. Tears welled up, but I tried my best to keep it there.
Yes, they are my strength and my weakness as well. I will easily break down into tears when someone's talking about parents. Yeah, I'll try my hardest to finish IB and to make their dreams come true. I'm choosing doctor as my career path because of you people and I created my passion in that field, so please, keep supporting.
But tonight, I feel a bit down. T_T nah, nobody cares. so shut up. Thanks H, for your 15 mins. Thanks for willing to hear my crappy rants. I really appreciate that. =)
I want to be a doctor, so DON'T EVER SHAKE MY FAITH.
p/s :Jom join aku tgk nobita jatuh tergolek-golek. Nak gelak banyak-banyak. LOL