The title doesn't have any direct relation to what I'll be conveying next. Sorry, was just very clueless about what I wanna type though there are a lot in mind. Ironic much, ne?
Actually it has been days I finally came home. After months of hard times and all in KMB. They said there's no other place like home, and I think that's true. Though the days were so boring and the nights were still not that appealing and the place was just the same with no remarkable changes. But this is where I want to be.
Sadly, this, doesn't last long.
Responsibility. The thing that seemed got me thinking for past few days. I don't know if it just me or being in IB had made me some sort of oblivious to some important parts of my life.
Talking about responsibility, I know very well as a human being, there are various responsibilities that we have to shoulder in this life. Be it to Allah, parents, families, teachers, friends, and also to oneself. So so many type of responsibilities that shows who we are.
In addition, as a doctor you cannot run from that word once you examine a patient. Once you touch them, you have agreed to carry that responsibility until the end. I never really have a thought on it, that you'll deal with lives and bodies and stuffs, maybe was too busy to even think about it.
But somehow, this word has brought it's definition to the very new level. I have a thought that, with my current self, current behaviour and attitudes, I don't think I am fit to be a doctor. To hold scalpels in the OR and open chests, stomachs or anything.
I believe that being a doctor, needs perseverance, good judgment and good skills. Not only a brain that is stuffed with medical knowledge but also be able to work under great stress. Good communication skills to explain the disease to the patient, make wise judgement and be confident in every decision being made.
....I don't know if I acquired any...
Say, for example, you are entrusted by your mom to prepare lunch, from cutting down the raw materials until you done washing all the pans and everything used in the cooking processes. You did everything, but you left one or two things unwashed maybe some spoons, tiny little things that aren't obvious, and you claim to your mom that you finished everything. You think you've done your responsibility, but you're not.
Being dishonest is an abuse of responsibility, or to that matter is an abuse of trust. In my opinion, if we can't fulfill this small responsibility, how can we carry bigger responsibility in life? Ask ourselves. Deep inside, you'll find the answer.
On top of everything, the ultimate responsibilities of a human being or a Muslim to be exact, is to worship Allah and to be khalifah in this world. Let's do it right. Don't let the dunya deceive us and may Allah protect our imaan from this dangerous path.
'Changing for good ain't a crime'_Hlovate