The moment when you couldn't give all out for Ramadhan, you realized something was wrong with your imaan and your heart.
I finally understand.
Understand that the heart is the master of ourselves. In a hadith, The Prophet SAW says,
Inna fil jasadi mudghah, iza solahat, solahat jasadu kulluh, faiza fasadat, fasadat jasadu kulluh, ala wahiya qalb
Indeed, in the body there's a lump of flesh. And if it's set right, the entire body is set right, and if it's corrupted,
the entire body is corrupted, and verily that is the heart.
Whatever lives in your heart, will dictate you. Will control your actions, and will either destroy yourself or help yourself to be a better person. Everything starts there. So be careful of what fills your heart, because what fills your heart dictates you. Sister Yasmin Mogahed once said.
I learnt it the hard way. Knowing that the hindrance of doing good deeds, was only my heart. My will was not strong enough to push myself to do good things. Even in a good ambience, Ramadhan-which, sadly, is swiftly going to an end in a few days. ;'( I hope there's still a chance for me to grab everything that I lost in this blessed month. Ameen.
I learnt to differentiate between a gift, and also a need. A gift, is that everything that we love. We love good results, good placements, nice clothes, high heels, designers handbags, our health, our cars, our homes and many other things. A gift is just a gift, but never it will be our air to live. We can live without the gift, but we can never live without the air.
I'm sure that everybody knows the gift should be held in the hand and God should be held in the heart. Problems arise when it is the other way around, because what's in the hand can be easily ignored, and can be easily be put aside. So ask yourselves, if not getting good results, or securing a desired placement, or things gone wrong along the way, or couldn't get married with the one you love, or even upset just because your Graduation attire was not that pretty, have made us so down and low, where did you held those things?
A broken relationship can make you cry. No, I'm not talking about others, I've been there too. And it takes you quite some time to recover, to actually understand the reason behind the tears. To feel the real stupidity when reality hits hard right in the face. Why? Because, obviously you put someone else in the heart, and it became your dependency. And your life will never be whole, until you depend to The One Who Never Die.
Ramadhan taught me about sincerity. You can never be sincere until you have the heart of Islam. Which means until you are willing to let Allah, and Allah alone in your heart. Willing to bring out any other things, or dependency for the sake of Allah. Only then, you can be sincere towards al-Khaliq, The One Who Creates.
So, worship not the gift, but The Giver, not the provision, but The Provider.
I hope this benefits everyone who read. The last 10 days of Ramadhan are around the corner. Lets purity our heart, purification by all senses of word and meaning.