I have tonnes to say but having difficulties where to start.
So I'm here at Dunedin. It is getting warmer today as compared to the day I touched down (freaking 12degreeC) and I think I've recovered from travelling fatigue which I had it till yesterday (I guess) but have not really beaten my jetlag. I slept at probably 2am most days. I just hope I won't be late for first day of class tomorrow.
Yes, tomorrow is going to be my first day of school. Tbh, I am not feeling into it, not really looking forward to class tomorrow. Its probably because everyone else (that I am close too) are going to different schools now (Christchurch and Wellington) and having fun I guess. Here I am, at UO, Dunedin campus, have to do things all over again. Did I say I hate to start new friendships? hahaha okay, I'm kidding. Its just sometimes take a lot of time and energy to do it all over again.
One of the reasons why I'm not into it might be the fluctuating hormones. Hahaha, that's the perks of being a woman. Another thing maybe when everyone leaves, I am at risk of showing my insecurities and fragility to other people. When I have these friends, I feel comfortable and don't really care about these things. I know they won't judge me, I know they will save me if something happened. But, now? Hahaha IDK anymore.
IDK when did it start, when did I care about people's perceptions towards me. Maybe its just something that come along as we age, cause I remembered not giving a dang thing about what people think about me when I was younger. Lol
So yeah, I never said I regret of choosing this school over the others. Maybe its something Allah wants to test me on. Like, where do you put your utmost dependency? Is it your friends, your own ability, your family yadayadaya and you definitely know the answer.
Now I understand why people take gap years. Its not really easy jumping from just lectures, tutes and labs to hospital, real patients, bloods etc etc.
p/s: I kinda miss moments I shared with my stranger friend *waves* back in the days. One good thing about strangers is they don't judge. :)