Saturday, February 20, 2016


Dunedin - short weekend escape

It didn't have to be long until I had my first emotional breakdown this year. Year 4/6 of medical school. I remembered having one around the same time last year as well. It was really difficult to adjust to a new environment and new kind of learning. Its difficult enough with all that, and to add on that, I had to deal with my good friend/worst enemy namely: emotions.

It was a roller coaster ride for the first 'official' week this week. Being 4th year, there are a lot of things that you don't know. You kind of have to pick up everything as you go. Learn things as you observe and try to be a little more bolder and braver to try do things. I realized the more effort you put, the more people appreciate you.

I cried on most nights this week. Trying to recognize what feelings I felt. Was that anger? frustration? useless? pathetic? IDK. It was a mixture of feelings that surely had brought me down to my knees. When you have nothing to offer, it is so easy to put on a show and find a way to impress people. I felt that too.  I made myself work hard so that I can answer the consultant's questions, so that he will impressed. But, if I were to go that path, and chase everything I would not do anything to myself.
Because you know you can never please people ENOUGH to make yourself feel better/look better.

I had a moment to myself, reflecting on those feelings I had, refocusing on things that I should do.

Taking a break from everything, and hopefully will come back stronger and wiser than before.

Till then


Anonymous said...

Hang on there!

Jangan pernah berhenti menyerah.
Apapun talk to Him, okeyh!

doctor for ummah :)

-kak bella-

Aliah Asarani said...

Jzkk Kak Bella!
Major booster for motivation today.

InsyaAllah :)

Anonymous said...

stay strong aliaah <3 may Allah ease everything for you :)

Anonymous said...

^^ ama :P

Aliah Asarani said...

Jzkk maaa :) Semoga ada lagi rezeki kita berjumpa insyaAllah

siti nor aishah mukhtar said...

aww, found you >,<

Anonymous said...

found you too :P


there's always a little truth behind every "JUST KIDDING ", a little knowledge behind every " I DON'T KNOW ", a little emotion behind every " I DON'T CARE ", and a little pain behind every " IT'S OKAY "